I've been wondering that for a very long time. That someone else is still here watching us perform and they're tricking us the entire time. The deaths seem very real, and so do the demons. But what if it's something else?
But I really do think we're being watched if that's what you're asking me. The timing of the announcements and everything is too weird.
[This makes him frown. It's one thing to be on stage for a good cause--song and dance. It's another to be on stage as entertainment with... demons? With people's deaths?]
It's okay, Junpei-san. We'll... find the reasonings behind what is happening. If... Prompto-san and I are able to send and receive messages, then I don't believe... [He sighs quietly.] The deaths are gruesome, and I know they must be painful, but... They aren't final.
I hope so. If we don't, then what's even the point? [...but there's something in that and he just kind of eyeballs Hizamaru quietly.]
...can I ask you something? And get a truthful answer. When was the last time you got to talk to Prompto? It's...do you only believe they aren't final because Carlos said they're all together somewhere else?
[The smile that comes to his lips is very faint and bittersweet.]
I was a spirit for a long time, Junpei-san. I know humans feel as if being a spirit may be final, the end. Perhaps that is all death is, losing the human body and becoming your true essence... like I had been as a sword.
But Nikkari-san has given me a message I know is from Prompto-san... and so, it isn't final, even if he may be a spirit. I don't mind. If I can talk to him, or meet him, even as spirits. That is enough to make it not final for me.
[There's something in what Hizamaru says that makes complete sense. He takes a sip as he thinks, eyes growing a little soft and expression more worn down than usual as he thinks on those words.]
...I can't lose my human body here. It's the one consistent thing that has kept me alive through every single death I've faced. Without a body to return to, we can't stay alive. I'm...every day I think about the fact that we're still losing people and we don't really know what the end result will be. Maybe we are supposed to be spirits, or maybe we're supposed to find a way to bring them back. I don't know. But I can't die here. There's something very important I have to get back to, and even if I were a spirit I'm afraid I would lose it forever.
[...] But I like the theory anyway. That it really isn't final either way.
It's okay. I understand, Junpei-san. Our human bodies are new, but they can be damaged, too. But beyond that... our true selves cannot be broken, or our spirits will be, too. Being badly damaged... it can also mean a lack of existence for us.
[He's quiet for a bit, not looking at Junpei. Not looking at the sake either, even if he takes another careful sip.]
I will tell you what I think, Junpei-san. I think it's... okay for me to say on my own. [He's learning? He's learning.] You should make sure those with abilities aren't able to be possessed by any demons. If that's true, then... in the end, to make sure there are more of you than of demons... You are going to have to decide if you want to do what is honorable but very difficult.
You are going to have to remove those of us who do not have abilities so we are not possessed by demons.
And you are going to have to trust that your story won't end here in this place. But please be sure... that is not what those we have heard tried before--only to fail.
...I want to exist. [It's what he says, because after everything and the histories he's jumped to and the people he's saved to make sure their existence is real, it's the one thing he's firm on.] I want to make sure everyone here can exist when this is over.
[But. He listens again, because even if Hiza is babby there's a wisdom there that Junpei himself doesn't quite grasp yet.]
There isn't a way to guarantee that those people won't be possessed. Everyone can be possessed, and only three people can protect three other people at a time. [And if his voice sounds tight and quiet it's maybe because this has been bothering him more than he'll admit to most people who expect him to lead and figure things out.] What's the honorable thing then, Hizamaru? Is it really to sacrifice other people? I'm not...it happens in games like these, I get it, but the roles keep moving and people keep dying.
We have to be better than them. We can't fail after everything we've already gone through on this goddamn ship. But other than trying to find these people and connect them, I'm not sure what else I can do anymore. We still let a murderer get away even though we found one. Can we still be happy with that?
If you find out that is what is required for us to be safe in the end... yes. It's not what we would hope, but it is what's right. I cannot speak for others, but I do not mind... being removed if it ensures all of us return to the timeline where we belong. But we should make sure that is the case before we act.
A single person can disrupt so much of history doing things on their own. Just like Mikazuki-sama. You have to remember... to work together as a team. I believe in you, Junpei-san, and I believe in the others, too.
[His frown is soft.]
It's true I am wary about the one which escaped; however... We found another this time. So, for now, perhaps only one is left. You will only have to find one person to purify.
There are questions I still have but answers I lack. I can only hope that people will be as calm about it as you are when the time comes. Whatever the answer might be. [He bites his lip in thought.]
...I know. You and Izuminokami seem to feel the same way. [Here, he pauses and pulls out a piece of paper with a note written in Japanese that he passes to Hizamaru.
Junpei, I’ve given you all that I can, but it looks like I may not be able to help you, after all. The demons want their revenge, it seems. But I think you’ll do fine without me.
The other swords are still there. Trust them, rely on them, and they will help you see this mission through to the end.
Don’t forget what I told you, and don’t forget to smile. These demons will not break you.]
Kinda seems like you guys were in sync. I don't want to fuck this up, but we're still at a disadvantage of knowing people we trust can turn on us without it even being their fault. If there's only one still out there, we can find them and maybe the next person with Izuminokami's job will be able to dispatch them. We just have to find that person, too.
[Carefully, he takes the note the look it over. His face softens at the brows and the lips, but he does smile wryly at the words.]
Kanesada-san is a young sword, but he very wise. His former master, Hijikata-sama, was an amazing man. He's right; you shouldn't lose your smile even in the darkest times. [He offers Junpei the letter back.] We will meet him again when this is finished. Don't lose hope.
You can win the war even if you lose a few battles. I know that from experience, Junpei-san.
[He tries for a reassuring smile.]
I will admit... I am scared. To be corrupted... It's... [He shakes his head, the smile faltering.] A corrupted treasure is so dishonorable. But more than that, to be... to understand what the swords corrupted by the Revisionists feel... I don't want to know. I don't want that to happen to any of us.
He did tell me he was the youngest out of all of you. And I'm trying not to but...some days are harder than others. [A shrug. He'll pocket the letter away even as he takes a sip of his sake.] I don't like losing even though I know it's inevitable. I know we have to make some sacrifices and some casualties will occur. But getting everyone else on board with that...that's the other problem.
I'm glad he was spared, too. But I think we're all scared even if we aren't saying it. ["And the worst part is we wouldn't even know until it's way too late."] ...even if it doesn't feel like it, we're getting better. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or your brother if I can help it.
[He offers Junpei a small smile. It really does look like Hizamaru is placing a lot of trust into Junpei. No pressure.]
We'll see all of our friends again. I promise, Junpei-san. For now, please try not to worry so much about considering them lost. We only have to figure out how to get to them. We'll be okay. With you, and Nightwing-san, and Kagachi-san, and elder brother.
Hah. Thanks...[No pressure. But with Hizamaru, it feels more like just...belief. It's comfortable enough.] They're all very good people, but you've been helping us out a lot, too. I don't know if we'd be this far without you.
[After all, Hizamaru's the one who told him about hearing from Prompto, and also he's Hige's memory. That alone is a big task.]
Sometimes this is exactly what I need. [Sometimes he just needs to exist to know he really exists. But he takes another sip.]
...though, I'd like your help on something. Your brother is helping Dick find the roles, but there's one we all seem to be struggling with the most. Did you know Nikkari has a partner?
[His face falls gently in surprise. It doesn't look as if he's aware of anything, but more... shocked there's a double.]
Nikkari-san...? There are two who are able to speak to the ones on the other side...?
[He looks absolutely bittersweet for a moment, only to sort of reel himself back in. Right. Business and stuff. Even if they are meant to be chilling.]
Izuminokami's role was the first one in the list, and I'm still learning about it. That's why it's still blank. [Even though Junpei, in the future, finds out about it later.] But see these numbers? They're the amount of people who have roles. If you add them, they add up to thirteen. That's why we know there are two who are able to, probably, speak to the ones on the other side.
[Tilting his head, he leans enough to see the face of the paper. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense until Junpei shows him the backside, and then his eyes light up in recognition.]
This is amazing, Junpei-san. You're incredible.
[The words don't mean anything to him in the sense he understands them, but he does reach out and brush his fingers by the word "doxxer."] Kanesada-san told me what you said this means. [Doxxing.]
There's so many of them. [He smiles just a tad, not about the situation, but about them having such good information.] I'm glad there are two. I hope we can find the other one.
Well, I had some help. [But he grins a little in spite of that.] But yeah, I did. His first note mentioned doxxing and that was how I made the connection with this puzzle. How the two are linked together.
The other Booty Caller has been really hard to find. I don't know if any of us know who they are right now, but we have to keep looking. Izuminokami's role is going to change to someone else, too. And there's another Sugar Daddy missing. Otherwise everybody else is accounted for. We know the roles move, so if we can keep an eye on those people and find all thirteen...I dunno. Maybe something will happen.
[He shakes his head, as it's only a suggestion he's tossing out.] I know you can find them. I'll help if I can, Junpei-san, but... elder brother is very good at speaking with others.
I think he'll help you better with this, so please trust him in his endeavors.
I don't need someone better. I need someone willing, and I think that's both of you. I trust you both a lot, so...[He looks away for a moment.] You be the keeper and he'll be the scout. That's how I see it.
He's done well on his own as it is. I'm impressed. But you've given me more information about other things, like the notes you've received and things like that.
[Junpei is trying so very hard to reassure Hizamaru, and I support him. However, Hizamaru has said all of this in earnest without any kind of self-deprecation. He one hundred believes he has his own strengths, but the things his brother is good at isn't one of them. It's fine? He thinks it's fine.]
I will do that then, Junpei-san.
[It'd be rude of him to refuse after Junpei went through so much effort to convince him.]
Elder brother and I get along well. Really. We work better together than we do apart.
I know you do. And even though I would love to see what you can do separately I'm not going to be the one to tell you not to do what's best. [Shrug! So like. He gets it. But also. Please.]
You need each other. So try to be honest with each other, too. Okay?
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But I really do think we're being watched if that's what you're asking me. The timing of the announcements and everything is too weird.
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It's okay, Junpei-san. We'll... find the reasonings behind what is happening. If... Prompto-san and I are able to send and receive messages, then I don't believe... [He sighs quietly.] The deaths are gruesome, and I know they must be painful, but... They aren't final.
That, at least, gives me a little hope.
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...can I ask you something? And get a truthful answer. When was the last time you got to talk to Prompto? It's...do you only believe they aren't final because Carlos said they're all together somewhere else?
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I was a spirit for a long time, Junpei-san. I know humans feel as if being a spirit may be final, the end. Perhaps that is all death is, losing the human body and becoming your true essence... like I had been as a sword.
But Nikkari-san has given me a message I know is from Prompto-san... and so, it isn't final, even if he may be a spirit. I don't mind. If I can talk to him, or meet him, even as spirits. That is enough to make it not final for me.
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...I can't lose my human body here. It's the one consistent thing that has kept me alive through every single death I've faced. Without a body to return to, we can't stay alive. I'm...every day I think about the fact that we're still losing people and we don't really know what the end result will be. Maybe we are supposed to be spirits, or maybe we're supposed to find a way to bring them back. I don't know. But I can't die here. There's something very important I have to get back to, and even if I were a spirit I'm afraid I would lose it forever.
[...] But I like the theory anyway. That it really isn't final either way.
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[He's quiet for a bit, not looking at Junpei. Not looking at the sake either, even if he takes another careful sip.]
I will tell you what I think, Junpei-san. I think it's... okay for me to say on my own. [He's learning? He's learning.] You should make sure those with abilities aren't able to be possessed by any demons. If that's true, then... in the end, to make sure there are more of you than of demons... You are going to have to decide if you want to do what is honorable but very difficult.
You are going to have to remove those of us who do not have abilities so we are not possessed by demons.
And you are going to have to trust that your story won't end here in this place. But please be sure... that is not what those we have heard tried before--only to fail.
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[But. He listens again, because even if Hiza is babby there's a wisdom there that Junpei himself doesn't quite grasp yet.]
There isn't a way to guarantee that those people won't be possessed. Everyone can be possessed, and only three people can protect three other people at a time. [And if his voice sounds tight and quiet it's maybe because this has been bothering him more than he'll admit to most people who expect him to lead and figure things out.] What's the honorable thing then, Hizamaru? Is it really to sacrifice other people? I'm not...it happens in games like these, I get it, but the roles keep moving and people keep dying.
We have to be better than them. We can't fail after everything we've already gone through on this goddamn ship. But other than trying to find these people and connect them, I'm not sure what else I can do anymore. We still let a murderer get away even though we found one. Can we still be happy with that?
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A single person can disrupt so much of history doing things on their own. Just like Mikazuki-sama. You have to remember... to work together as a team. I believe in you, Junpei-san, and I believe in the others, too.
[His frown is soft.]
It's true I am wary about the one which escaped; however... We found another this time. So, for now, perhaps only one is left. You will only have to find one person to purify.
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...I know. You and Izuminokami seem to feel the same way. [Here, he pauses and pulls out a piece of paper with a note written in Japanese that he passes to Hizamaru.
Junpei,
I’ve given you all that I can, but it looks like I may not be able to help you, after all. The demons want their revenge, it seems. But I think you’ll do fine without me.
The other swords are still there. Trust them, rely on them, and they will help you see this mission through to the end.
Don’t forget what I told you, and don’t forget to smile. These demons will not break you.]
Kinda seems like you guys were in sync. I don't want to fuck this up, but we're still at a disadvantage of knowing people we trust can turn on us without it even being their fault. If there's only one still out there, we can find them and maybe the next person with Izuminokami's job will be able to dispatch them. We just have to find that person, too.
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Kanesada-san is a young sword, but he very wise. His former master, Hijikata-sama, was an amazing man. He's right; you shouldn't lose your smile even in the darkest times. [He offers Junpei the letter back.] We will meet him again when this is finished. Don't lose hope.
You can win the war even if you lose a few battles. I know that from experience, Junpei-san.
[He tries for a reassuring smile.]
I will admit... I am scared. To be corrupted... It's... [He shakes his head, the smile faltering.] A corrupted treasure is so dishonorable. But more than that, to be... to understand what the swords corrupted by the Revisionists feel... I don't want to know. I don't want that to happen to any of us.
I'm at least glad Kanesada-san was spared that.
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I'm glad he was spared, too. But I think we're all scared even if we aren't saying it. ["And the worst part is we wouldn't even know until it's way too late."] ...even if it doesn't feel like it, we're getting better. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or your brother if I can help it.
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[He offers Junpei a small smile. It really does look like Hizamaru is placing a lot of trust into Junpei. No pressure.]
We'll see all of our friends again. I promise, Junpei-san. For now, please try not to worry so much about considering them lost. We only have to figure out how to get to them. We'll be okay. With you, and Nightwing-san, and Kagachi-san, and elder brother.
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[After all, Hizamaru's the one who told him about hearing from Prompto, and also he's Hige's memory. That alone is a big task.]
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I'm always willing to help you and the others, Junpei-san. Whatever you need. Even if it's only...
[He raises his glass a tad, pointedly. Just chilling. He doesn't mind.]
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Sometimes this is exactly what I need. [Sometimes he just needs to exist to know he really exists. But he takes another sip.]
...though, I'd like your help on something. Your brother is helping Dick find the roles, but there's one we all seem to be struggling with the most. Did you know Nikkari has a partner?
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Nikkari-san...? There are two who are able to speak to the ones on the other side...?
[He looks absolutely bittersweet for a moment, only to sort of reel himself back in. Right. Business and stuff. Even if they are meant to be chilling.]
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C------: 1
--------: 1
-u--- ----y: 2
---t- ------: 2
----b------: 3
-----r: 4]
So, I started looking at some of the other hints he had received, plus information I had from Escha and some others.
[He flips the paper over to show him the completed puzzle.
C------: 1
Honeypot: 1
Sugar Daddy: 2
Booty Caller: 2
Cockblocker: 3
Doxxer: 4]
Izuminokami's role was the first one in the list, and I'm still learning about it. That's why it's still blank. [Even though Junpei, in the future, finds out about it later.] But see these numbers? They're the amount of people who have roles. If you add them, they add up to thirteen. That's why we know there are two who are able to, probably, speak to the ones on the other side.
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This is amazing, Junpei-san. You're incredible.
[The words don't mean anything to him in the sense he understands them, but he does reach out and brush his fingers by the word "doxxer."] Kanesada-san told me what you said this means. [Doxxing.]
There's so many of them. [He smiles just a tad, not about the situation, but about them having such good information.] I'm glad there are two. I hope we can find the other one.
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The other Booty Caller has been really hard to find. I don't know if any of us know who they are right now, but we have to keep looking. Izuminokami's role is going to change to someone else, too. And there's another Sugar Daddy missing. Otherwise everybody else is accounted for. We know the roles move, so if we can keep an eye on those people and find all thirteen...I dunno. Maybe something will happen.
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[He shakes his head, as it's only a suggestion he's tossing out.] I know you can find them. I'll help if I can, Junpei-san, but... elder brother is very good at speaking with others.
I think he'll help you better with this, so please trust him in his endeavors.
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He's done well on his own as it is. I'm impressed. But you've given me more information about other things, like the notes you've received and things like that.
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I will do that then, Junpei-san.
[It'd be rude of him to refuse after Junpei went through so much effort to convince him.]
Elder brother and I get along well. Really. We work better together than we do apart.
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You need each other. So try to be honest with each other, too. Okay?